Where the Wild Things Are

STOP!

DO NOT RUN FROM A RADICAL FAERIE.

Face the Faerie and stand upright.

Back away slowly, but only if you can do so safely.

Running may stimulate a Faerie's instinct to pursue and flirt.

REMAIN COMPOSED when you come upon a Faerie. Speak calmly, yet firmly.

DO NOT APPROACH A FAERIE,

especially one that is pre-caffeinated, dishing, or putting on drag or make-up.

Most Faeries will try to avoid a confrontation. Leave them a graceful way out.

DO NOT WALK OR CAMP ALONE.

Make plenty of noise to reduce your chances of surprising a Faerie.

Carrying a clipboard is a good idea: you can use it to ward off a Faerie.

KEEP LOVED ONES CLOSE TO YOU, and always within your sight.

Speak with them about Faeries and tell them what to do if they meet one.

DO NOT CROUCH AND BEND OVER;

DO ALL YOU CAN DO TO APPEAR LARGER.

Raise your arms. Open your jacket, if you are wearing one.

If pets or small children are with you, pick them up so they don't panic and run.

IF THE FAERIE BEHAVES AGGRESSIVELY, throw food, drag, or whatever jewelry or cosmetics you can grab without crouching or turning your back.

IF A FAERIE ATTACKS YOU,

FIGHT BACK and try to stay on your feet.

Faeries have been driven off by fighting back!

PLEASE REPORT ALL FAERIE SIGHTINGS

AS WELL AS ANY CARCASS WHICH MIGHT BE ATTRIBUTABLE TO A FAERIE KILL.

[Adapted from advice about Mountain Lion, Bear, and other Wild Things]